


It's In Your Blood

by Nicitia



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-19
Updated: 2014-08-19
Packaged: 2018-02-13 22:05:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2166843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nicitia/pseuds/Nicitia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ruslan finds getting over Elena to be surprisingly easy. It's staying over her that's the hard part.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's In Your Blood

On his day off, Ruslan gets up, checks his phone, and walks to Elena’s place. She chose an apartment that wasn’t far away from the rink, so it’s not a bad walk. It’s so early but Elena opens her door, laughing and smiling as she lets him in, radiant even at this hour, and he feels a sharp pain in his chest even as he can’t help but smile back. He’s not even entirely sure what they’re doing today, but even just a lazy day spent curled up on her couch watching tv would be fine, as long as he’s with her.

Ruslan has always been one to move forward, to get on with his life when bad things happen. When Victoria left him to skate with Nikita, he had moved on easily enough, and the sting of her betrayal lessened when he met Elena. And so when Elena told him that it would be unprofessional for them to be involved, that they should just be friends and partners, he understood and accepted it. He cherishes her friendship and company above all else and as long as he has that, it’s fine. They’re back to normal at practice the next day, laughing and joking, flying across the ice as if they were destined to skate together. They immediately go back to how things were before she spent the night in his apartment, in his bed, and no one notices anything happened at all. It took only a few days for the pangs of longing to ease away into nothingness. Getting over Elena turned out to be surprisingly easy.

It’s staying over her that’s the hard part.

It usually isn't anything big that makes him love her. Sometimes she just smiles at a certain moment, or looks at him a little too long, or sometimes he just sees her and all his hard work is undone. But Elena deserves better than her partner pining over her and ruining everything they've worked for, so he gets over it. Gets over her. But somehow Ruslan always ends back where he started, wishing and wanting and hating himself for it.

He has to be better, for her, for the partnership. There are comments- on her instagram, in the tabloids, _everywhere_ \- that Elena should be with Nikita, that she'll never be anything with Ruslan, that she's settled. And he knows it's true, knows he isn't as good as she is, so he forces his feelings out of his mind and pushes himself to be better. Besting Viktoria barely factors into it anymore, as he was never particularly vindictive. But sometimes Nikita's name comes up, and he sees her face just crumple, just for a moment, and he finds a vindictive streak anyway.  
Elena approaches him about it once, concern and something else in her eyes. They're curled up a little too close on his couch, watching some American show he doesn't quite follow, when she turns to him.

"You've been working pretty hard," she says, and he isn't entirely sure where she's going with this, so he nods.

"You shouldn't push yourself too hard," she murmurs into his shoulder. And he might be more tired than he thought, because the truth spills out of him.

"You deserve the best," he says quietly. "I want to be better for you."

For a moment he worries that he has said too much, but Elena just presses closer. "I want to be better for you too." And there's something in her voice that makes his chest ache.

"You don't have to," he protests. "You are more than good enough for me. You're perfect."

She takes his hand, slips her fingers between his. "So are you," she says.

It takes Ruslan a whole month to get over her after that.

 

His sister Nelli comes to visit him, and she takes to Elena instantly. She teases him about the pretty girl he's skating with, at least she does until one of her jokes hits a little too close to home and he can't control his face. Nelli doesn't stop teasing, it's not in her nature, but she stops joking about his love life. When it's just the two of them later, she grows serious.  
"Rus," she begins, and he knows what she's going to say, knows that she's going to admonish him for jeopardizing his career.  
"Is everything okay between you and Elena?"

Ruslan doesn't quite meet her gaze. "Of course."

"I just don't want you to get hurt," Nelli says, concerned and sympathetic, something like pity in her eyes.

"I'm fine." When she looks unconvinced at that, he sighs a little. "I'll get over it, Nelli."

His sister hugs him tightly. "If you're sure." She sounds doubtful.

"I am," he replies quietly.

Ruslan is completely sure. He always gets over her, after all.

Ruslan tells himself that it's pointless to love Elena like he does. That she's hurting and sad, and even if she weren't, that it would be a bad idea. But he can't distance himself from her, because he needs her like air, and he can't bear to see her look hurt when he turns down an invitation to hang out.  
So when Elena kisses him suddenly at his apartment one day, he doesn't resist. Ruslan kisses her back with all of the repressed love and hope and desire he's felt over the past year, one hand sinking into her hair, the other arm pulling her as close as possible. He knows she's going to pull away a second before she actually does, so he steps back as well, trying to keep his expression neutral.  
"I should go," She says, not looking at him. He nods, trying to act as though his heart isn't breaking.

"I'll see you tomorrow," is all he says.

Just before Elena walks out the door, she stops. "I'm sorry," she whispers, before she's gone.

He's sorry too, but he doesn't say anything. Just locks the door behind her. Ruslan tells himself that he has to get over this now, once and for all. That he can't keep doing this. That he'll spend time with other people, and let his relationship with Elena fade into a casual friendship. But even as he firms his resolve, he falls asleep and dreams of dark hair and laughing eyes, of Elena's smile against his mouth.

On his next day off, Ruslan gets up, checks his phone, and walks to Elena’s place.


End file.
